


Light of My Life

by Gwerinos (orphan_account), WuvWinchesterHugs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean gets to hold Sam's soul, Episode AU: s06e11 Appointment in Samarra, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:26:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16411061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Gwerinos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: “Samuel, I am going to put a barrier inside your mind. I should warn you, it can get itchy. Don't scratch the wall.”





	Light of My Life

There’s a sudden tightness in Dean’s chest, like his heart has been suddenly ignited as he gazes at the glowing energy from his brother’s soul. The empty shell that screamed at him from the cot in the centre of the room was not his brother. It wasn’t Sam. It wasn’t. He had to keep telling himself that; it was the only way he could stand to keep listening for as long as he has already. He didn’t even realise that he had taken a step towards the cot. The glowing energy that Death was lifting out of his bag was drawing him closer, almost as if it was his own soul. 

“Careful, Dean,” Bobby said, but it was as if he was talking from a long way away. 

Be careful? Was Bobby nuts? That soul was hands down the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen. Did Death himself even truly understand the true power behind that beautiful soul, nearly blinding them all just from being seen in the bag?

Death frowned at Dean as Dean moved to kneel beside the cot, his eyes still on Sam’s soul. He shouldn’t be able to do that, Death thought. This was his brother, not his soulmate. Only a soulmate could gaze directly at another’s soul without the light being too bright. But Dean did not look away. He held out his hands cupped to receive Sam’s soul. 

“Dean, step back. This is a very delicate process, one you’re lucky I even agreed to in the first place. Need i remind you you’re on thin ice already? Do you want your brother’s soul back or not?” Death inquired, annoyed.

“NOT!” shouted the empty shell next to them.

“I have cared for my brother’s soul since the day he was born,” Dean replied. For once Dean wasn’t demanding, wasn’t wearing the arrogant mask that he presented to the world. This was Dean, raw. “If anyone is going to put his soul back where it belongs, it is going to be me.” 

That’s when Death’s hunch from earlier gets stronger. Maybe… “Dean, it’s important that you hold very still. I’m going to allow you to hold your brother’s soul. But only for a moment. You try anything, back to the cage it goes. Understand?”

“Good!” the empty shell pipes up.

“Tell me what to do. If I do it wrong you can take him and me to wherever we are supposed to go, but we go together,” Dean told Death. 

“Even if it’s back to the cage?” Death asked. 

“Even if it is to the cage.” 

Death sighed. “Hold out your hand, and keep still. I don’t even know why I’m allowing this, other than some morbid curiosity. But I am allowing you to hold this soul. Don’t push it. Understand?”

Dean didn’t look at Death. He couldn’t take his eyes off the glowing energy that was Sam’s soul. He nodded one quick nod. 

Death reached out his hand, and slowly lifted the soul out of the bag. Which made Dean realize he was wrong. If he thought the soul was beautiful before, that was nothing compared to seeing it clutched quite literally in the hands of Death. It shone through his fingers, like a disco ball, except this was...indescribable.

Dean almost whimpered. He needed to get closer. The hole that had been in his heart since he lost Sam was so close to being filled. This was something he didn’t even know he needed. He was careful not to touch Death as the soul passed to Dean’s hands. 

The second the soul touched his hands, he would swear to the day he died that it was the most profound moment of his life, even more than the day Sam was born. He could feel it, how it was like the soul itself was seeping into his body, like tree roots digging deep, all the way to his own soul.

He thought that was amazing all its own, but with a start, he realizes it’s not over. No, now it’s as if vines have sprouted from Sam’s soul, reaching out towards Dean’s. And that’s when he truly feels it. The moment those wonderful vines reach his soul, they don’t just touch it, they wrap themselves around it, tightly, but never suffocating. Sam’s soul had found the one it wanted to hold onto forever. On Deans side, it felt like a warm hug, and he worried at first Sam’s soul would overpower and destroy him, but that worry soon melted away, as Sam’s soul refused to unbind itself or move away.

As if that wasn’t amazing enough, Dean is astonished when he feels his own soul reciprocate, vines of his own sprouting, interweaving with the ones from Sam’s, waiting for Sam’s soul to be returned, so they could truly be bonded, and Dean’s soul could wrap around Sam’s as well.

Bobby could see none of this. He could simply see a light glowing in Dean’s hands that was too bright to look at. For all that Bobby knew, Dean could be holding an overpowered glow ball. 

Death watched in fascination. All this had taken only seconds, hardly time for Dean’s body to react by a blink of his eyes, a slight sigh of contentment and the touch of a smile on his face. He knew that he had made a mistake. They were supposed to be brothers, that was what was written in the plan of the universe. But they were clearly far more than brothers. 

“That’s enough, Dean.” Death says calmly. “I have a job to do. Hand me back your brother’s soul.”

Dean’s eyes flew up to stare at Death defiantly. “No way.” 

“Dean, you’re lucky that soul didn’t kill you upon touching it. Souls are incredibly powerful on their own, but as you can see, this is no ordinary soul. It has to be handled delicately if you want any chance of getting your brother back. Give it to me. Now.”

“I have my brother back. You aren’t getting your hands on him ever again,” Dean snapped. 

“Dean I am serious. My patience is running very thin as it is. Give it to me, or risk losing your brother for good.”

“Fuck your natural order! Fuck you! I’m alive. Sam’s alive. Because God, or whatever wants it. How many times have we died? I sure as hell don’t know. More times than I can count. More times than I remember. So don’t threaten me with death. We always find a way back. We aren’t done here yet.” 

Death wonders if now would be the time to tell Dean the truth about who brought Sam’s body back without his soul, but upon seeing the look on Dean’s face, decides Dean will have to find that out on his own.

“Dean, please. Have you ever put a soul back in a person’s body before?” Okay, that’s a valid point.

“Tell me how,” Dean replied. 

“We’re talking about an ancient process that has only ever been done by me. A human doing it is unfathomable.”

“First time for everything. Just because you are the only one to have done it, doesn’t mean that you are the only one who can,” Dean told him. 

Death tries to reach out and take the soul back, but it’s Dean’s reaction that surprises him more than the resistance from the soul itself. Not only does Dean pull his hands back towards himself, though not moving from Sam’s side, his soul cocoons Sam’s soul in a protective layer of itself. Death knows that this is not something that Dean could possibly control. This mere mortal doesn’t even know what a soul is. 

“Dean…” he makes one final protest.

With a sigh, Dean tries to hand back Sam’s soul, giving in to the realisation that he needed to do this for Sam. 

But then, he feels the same resistance, and Dean finds himself pulling back his hands holding Sam’s soul forcefully, almost on instinct.

“I can’t,” Dean said. 

Finally, Death can’t keep up the fight anymore. He sighs, and says, “Get up on the cot. In front of your brother.”

Dean moved to sit on the cot, facing Sam. Sam being the ginormous moose that he is, there isn’t much room. 

“Don’t,” Sam screams at him, making Dean realize that the argument between him and Death was all mental. He didn’t like the fact that he had had Death in his mind, but his entire life had been the weirdest of weird shit. He would cope. 

“Dean... please don't. You don't know what will happen to me. I'll do anything. Please!”

“You don’t understand, Sam. You’re the walking dead. You’re what we fight against. This...this is Sam. This is my brother,” he spoke at last, indicating the soul in his hands. “What do I do next? He asked Death. 

Death just shake his head, “Position the soul right over Sam's abdomen, but don't push in until I give the go ahead.”

Dean did as he was told and waited. The soul seemed to recognise Sam’s body and tried to seep through his fingers to get to it. Sam, the body was screaming and cursing, struggling against the bonds to get away. This only convinced Dean even more that whatever this body was, it wasn’t his brother. It was something they hunted. 

“Stop! Get away from me!” Sam screamed at the feel of the soul’s attempt to get inside him.

Death considered the situation. If he touched Dean, Dean would die and there wasn’t a reaper around to help catch him. Dean would certainly resist. But Dean was a mere mortal, unable to do what he wanted with Sam’s soul. “Drop it,” Death said. 

But once again, the soul resisted. In fact, when Dean's hand started to lower both himself and Death were amazed to see Sam's abdomen light up, like it was ready to accept the soul back in. How…?

Hoping he's not wrong, Death instructs. “Samuel, I am going to put a barrier inside your mind. I should warn you, it can get itchy. Don't scratch the wall.”

He turns to Dean, “There could be a very small window where you could possibly put his soul back in, right as I put up the wall. If you don't, the consequences could be catastrophic. Understand?”

Dean only nods, finally lowering one hand to grab ahold of one of the hands of Sam's body, eager to offer some sort of comfort. Sam gripped Dean’s hand so tight that he probably broke something, reminding Dean of just how strong his little brother was. 

“NOW!” Death shouted, and with surprisingly gentle movements, he lowers the hand holding Sam's soul to Sam's abdomen. The screaming upped to nearly unbearable levels, and he had to stop himself from pulling away; if he stopped now, Sam would truly be gone, and it would be all his fault. Again. He pushes the soul inside Sam, feeling when the tethers reach out to hold the soul back in place where it belonged, which let Dean know he could finally release his hand. Slowly, he pulls his hand back, and he won't deny how weird it is to see and feel his hand pull out of his little brothers body.

Suddenly, it was over. Sam’s soul was back in his body. Dean felt like a little kid whose favourite toy had been taken away. There was a big empty in his life again. But Sam was back. 

And then, the wonderful feeling he felt when Sam's soul bound itself to his returned. Only this time, it was his own. With Sam's soul once again intact, Dean's soul was free to expand its vines to reach Sam's, and when they touch Sam's soul, Dean decides it's the best of the three; it's like he's wrapping Sam up and holding him inside himself, the one place he knows Sam would be safe.

When Dean looks up, he notices Death has vanished, as well as Bobby is still just standing there and staring at the both of them dumbfounded.

Then, somehow, after seeing that Sam is unconscious, he lifts himself from the cot, and leads Bobby out of the room, praying for Cass to show up and check to see if everything went smoothly.

 

The first thing Sam is aware of as he opens his eyes is the light flickering. It's only when his vision clears that he realizes it's the fan on the panic room ceiling. 

Sam looks down at himself, at his body, completely unscathed, at the room, exactly how he remembers it. He doesn't know what to think. One moment he was willingly falling into a huge gaping hole, locking Lucifer away with him forever, and now he's here. 

But then, he hears it. The unmistakable sound of voices coming from outside the door. One that's unmistakably Dean's, and the other no doubt Bobby's. And that gives him enough courage to get up from the cot, and makes his way out if the room, where, thank God, someone left it open. 

When he reaches the room where the voices coming from, he can't help but freeze when he sees Dean. God, he looks so beautiful, just calmly discussing a hunt with Bobby. And Sam wants nothing more than just to go over there, wrap Dean in his arms and never let go. But then, before he knows what he's doing, he's taking a step forward, and saying one word. The one word that means everything.

“Dean.”


End file.
